I correspond with you not as the maker of the world’s finest confections but as an intergalactic explorer. As you can tell from the photo, me and my assistant Anthony (pronounced Ant-knee in Jersey), recently visited the surface of the sun. Ant-knee’s hair jell caught fire in .003 seconds and his St. Christopher’s medal melted in under .076 seconds. Although the Sun was hotter than I thought it might be, it was a dry heat.
In addition to visiting the sun, we also went to Minnesota. It was a little like going to Vail and getting altitude sickness. When you first arrive, you don’t feel very well and don’t know why. After a few hours you realize you don’t feel well because you are from the east coast and aren’t used to nice people. Finally, after a few days your body adjusts and you can’t smile enough. It’s the greatest place on earth….you betcha!
Well it’s time for my next adventure. I call it travel roulette. I’ve packed my passport, eaten the contents of a label less bottle from my medicine cabinet and am being driven to the airport. Not to worry, I’ve done this two other times and no one got hurt. The first time I woke up in Latvia doing vodka shots. I’m assuming I consumed a bottle of Ambien. The second time I never left the airport. I had the cabbie take me home and I was surly and irrational for two weeks. I assume I ate a bottle of estrogen replacement therapy pills.
JT’s Confections will be back in September and I look forward to a seeing everyone in the fall. Enjoy the rest of your summer and relax. Be more Minnesotan…”Oh suuuure I sapose it’d be alright if ya rammed that shopping cart inta the side of my neew car”
Your Pal and guide to a parallel universe,