A Valentines message from JT’s Confections

Gentle Reader,

It’s hard to believe that it’s already been a year since we last celebrated the holiday that is totally dedicated to getting laid (FYI next to Ascension Thursday, Valentine’s day was Mother Theresa’s favorite holiday*) I know that some of you ladies out there are asking “In a man’s world, isn’t everyday dedicated to getting laid”? The answer to your semi rhetorical question is yes, but we also think about eating and world piece. (men spell it piece)

Anyway, back to the holiday at hand, Valentines day. This is the one true fake holiday that you let your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, life partner or the 26 year old divorced check out girl at the A&P know that you love them. Is there a better way to say I love you than by giving one of the aforementioned slobs JT’s Confections? Probably, but it won’t be candy and it won’t be under $1000.

Please visit us at jtsconfections.com and place your holiday order. For Valentine’s Day we have our traditional teal and chocolate packaging as well as sexy red love boxes…GRRR baby, GRRRRR. We ship anywhere to the lower 48. For any Mormons, the fifth, sixth and seventh wives are free! We’d like to thank you in advance for your orders and we’d also like to thank you for your past support. We really appreciate you allowing us to make your life better. I wish this was longer but most people don’t understand these emails so just remember to: Order early and Order often.

Thanks again!

Your Pal and guide to a parallel universe,

*if anyone wants me to save them a seat in hell let me know. Be quick, I think I can save up to five, three already have dibs and I don’t see much chance of any one of them turning it around.