Sad Easter Bunny News

Gentle Reader,

I write to you this morning with a heavy heart. It has recently been brought to my attention that on March 27, 2019 in the small Michigan town on Port Austin, Michigan (a suburb of Pigeon) a local hunter happened upon the grisly murder scene of the Easter Bunny. Below a clipping from the local newspaper The Daily Thumb that tells the sad tale.

Easter Bunny news

So gentle reader, do not despair, JT’s Confections has all your Easter candy needs. SOLID Bunnies, Chocolate Covered Easter Marshmallows, Chocolate Covered Easter Oreos, Chocolate Covered Caramel Coconut Bites and Jelly Beans.
In addition to our chocolate covered pretzels, caramels, toffee, barks and the world’s greatest pecan caramel clusters!

If you love your kids, there is NO reason to be going to Rite Aid, Acme, Franks Cigar store or any other fraudulent candy dealer.

Please visit us at 1206 Sussex Turnpike in Randolph and help your kids forget the Easter Bunny. Easter Who???

We are open every day until April 19th (Good Friday). Our hours are 10:00 to 3:00 every day.

Feel free to call if you have any questions. 908-377-9199
(I hope you can see where next year’s Christmas message is going!)

As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
JT

Uncle Sam and JT need you to show your support

Gentle Reader,

It’s been too long. I’d like to say that I’ve neglected you but nothing is further from the truth, I’ve switch to Face Book as my primary source of communication.  For many of you, you will recognize this campaign from previous years. For our new friends, drop and give me 20 Fancy Pants!

sergeantWe at JT’s Confections, with your help, would like to thank the good men and women who are currently serving, or have previously served, in the armed forces of the United States of America. These men and women are asked to perform duties that many of us are either unable or unwilling to perform. These duties ensure our freedom and safety.

buy one give oneTo say THANK YOU we are offering the following:

Until March 31, for every one-pound box of mixed pecan caramel clusters and caramels you purchase, for whomever you want, we will provide a second one-pound box free provided that the second box is shipped to a veteran or an active duty member of the armed services. The only caveat is that you pay the shipping. It’s not Rockefeller’s Confections after all!

How to Order:
To say “Thank you,” just go to JTsConfections.com and click on the American flag. If you’d like to say thank you but don’t know a veteran or active duty member of the military, we can send your box to a veteran or an active duty military person on your behalf.

Each box will contain a note that reads “The Tompkins family of Ithaca, NY, would like to thank you for your service to our country.” Of course if your last name is not Tompkins, and you are not from Ithaca, the note will be changed… dealing with a rough crowd here.

We are working on the honor system here folks. Having said that, names we will NOT be shipping to are:

  • Colonel Klinkcaptain crunch
  • Colonel Mustard
  • Captain Kirk
  • Captain Stubing
  • Private Pyle

However, if you can with 100% good conscience provide me with a legitimate Captain Crunch, I will throw in a dozen chocolate covered Oreos for the good Captain. He or she has endured enough hardship.

Goal:

Although last year we hit our goal of 150 orders, that is not good enough for this year. This year we want to reach at least 200 orders!

So, please order early and order often! Share with EVERYONE. We want to get clubbed like baby seals!!! Settle down PITA, I was just kidding. I will eat a 30 lb lobster if this gets ugly.

Let’s all say “Thank you” to the good men and women who keep our country safe and free in the sweetest way we know how; with a box from JT’s Confections.

As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
JT

Uncle Sam and JT need you to show your support

Gentle Reader,

For many of you, you will recognize this campaign from previous years. For our new friends, drop and give me 20 Fancy Pants!

sergeantWe at JT’s Confections, with your help, would like to thank the good men and women who are currently serving, or have previously served, in the armed forces of the United States of America. These men and women are asked to perform duties that many of us are either unable or unwilling to perform. These duties ensure our freedom and safety.

buy one give oneTo say THANK YOU we are offering the following:

Until March 21, for every one-pound box of mixed pecan caramel clusters and caramels you purchase, for whomever you want, we will provide a second one-pound box free provided that the second box is shipped to a veteran or an active duty member of the armed services. The only caveat is that you pay the shipping. It’s not Rockefeller’s Confections after all!

How to Order:
To say “Thank you,” just go to JTsConfections.com and click on the American flag. If you’d like to say thank you but don’t know a veteran or active duty member of the military, we can send your box to a veteran or an active duty military person on your behalf.

Each box will contain a note that reads “The Tompkins family of Ithaca, NY, would like to thank you for your service to our country.” Of course if your last name is not Tompkins, and you are not from Ithaca, the note will be changed… dealing with a rough crowd here.

We are working on the honor system here folks. Having said that, names we will NOT be shipping to are:

  • Colonel Klinkcaptain crunch
  • Colonel Mustard
  • Captain Kirk
  • Captain Stubing
  • Private Pyle

However, if you can with 100% good conscience provide me with a legitimate Captain Crunch, I will throw in a dozen chocolate covered Oreos for the good Captain. He or she has endured enough hardship.

Goal:

Although last year we hit our goal of 150 orders, that is not good enough for this year. This year we want to reach at least 200 orders!

So, please order early and order often! Share with EVERYONE. We want to get clubbed like baby seals!!! Settle down PITA, I was just kidding. I will eat a 30 lb lobster if this gets ugly.

Let’s all say “Thank you” to the good men and women who keep our country safe and free in the sweetest way we know how; with a box from JT’s Confections.

As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
JT

We’re back! ST. Pete can ya hook a pal up? Let’s do some good!

Gentle Reader,

I trust this note finds you in top form and I hope that you and your family are all doing well. Enough about you…

We’re back:

We’re Baaaaaaaaaack, New Kitchen, Savage Tan, Hail to The Chief!

After a few months off the radar, JT’s is back and ready for the fall season. Our store in Randolph, NJ, is already open and starting Tuesday, October 3, JTSCONFECTIONS.COM is open and ready to ship!

I know most of you must be are asking, “Hey JT, what have you learned this past summer?” It can be distilled down to two life lessons…

Lesson number one: Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Lesson number two: Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

With the comfort provided by this wisdom, we enter the 2017-2018 confection’s season.

As some of you may know, JT’s has donated a significant portion of our profits to charity. However, after attending my 35th High School reunion this summer and listening to and telling stories of my youth, we will be donating ALL PROFITS to charity. To be honest, I’m just trying to get an audience with St. Pete to plead my case….


JT’s highlights for the upcoming season…

****For corporate holiday orders over $1,000 JT’s will donate 15% of GROSS SALES to one of three charities. The donation will be directed to the charity of your choice and it will be made in your company’s name.****

The charities are:

SUMMIT SPEECH SCHOOL MISSION STATEMENT:
It is the mission of Summit Speech School to enable children who are deaf or hard of hearing to take their place in a hearing world by providing superior educational and therapeutic support services through an auditory/oral program. www.summitspeech.org

 

 

St. JUDE CHILDREN’S RESEARCH HOSPITAL’S MISSION STATEMENT:
The mission of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is to advance cures, and means of prevention, for pediatric catastrophic diseases through research and treatment. Consistent with the vision of our founder Danny Thomas, no child is denied treatment based on race, religion or a family’s ability to pay. www.stjude.org

 

DAVDAV OFFICIAL MISSION STATEMENT:
We are dedicated to a single purpose: empowering veterans to lead high-quality lives with respect and dignity. We accomplish this by ensuring that veterans and their families can access the full range of benefits available to them; fighting for the interests of America’s injured heroes on Capitol Hill; and educating the public about the great sacrifices and needs of veterans transitioning back to civilian life. www.dav.org

 

This offer applies to all existing and future clientele.

You guys have been amazing in helping JT’s Confections grow into a company that funds GREAT charities. With your continued support, we are looking forward to writing impactful checks this year.

Please like AND follow JT’s Confections on Facebook
Share this with EVERYONE!!!!

I sincerely thank all of you! (except for you Bob. You know what you did…)

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,

JT

P.S. Please forward to a friend or three!

Uncle Sam and JT need you to show your support

Gentle Reader,

For many of you, you will recognize this campaign from previous years. For our new friends, drop and give me 20 Fancy Pants!

sergeantWe at JT’s Confections, with your help, would like to thank the good men and women who are currently serving, or have previously served, in the armed forces of the United States of America. These men and women are asked to perform duties that many of us are either unable or unwilling to perform. These duties ensure our freedom and safety.

buy one give oneTo say THANK YOU we are offering the following:

Until March 21, for every one-pound box of mixed pecan caramel clusters and caramels you purchase, for whomever you want, we will provide a second one-pound box free provided that the second box is shipped to a veteran or an active duty member of the armed services. The only caveat is that you pay the shipping. It’s not Rockefeller’s Confections after all!

How to Order:
To say “Thank you,” just go to JTsConfections.com and click on the American flag. If you’d like to say thank you but don’t know a veteran or active duty member of the military, we can send your box to a veteran or an active duty military person on your behalf.

Each box will contain a note that reads “The Tompkins family of Ithaca, NY, would like to thank you for your service to our country.” Of course if your last name is not Tompkins, and you are not from Ithaca, the note will be changed… dealing with a rough crowd here.

We are working on the honor system here folks. Having said that, names we will NOT be shipping to are:

  • Colonel Klinkcaptain crunch
  • Colonel Mustard
  • Captain Kirk
  • Captain Stubing
  • Private Pyle

However, if you can with 100% good conscience provide me with a legitimate Captain Crunch, I will throw in a dozen chocolate covered Oreos for the good Captain. He or she has endured enough hardship.

Goal:

Although last year we hit our goal of 150 orders, that is not good enough for this year. This year we want to reach at least 200 orders!

So, please order early and order often! Share with EVERYONE. We want to get clubbed like baby seals!!! Settle down PITA, I was just kidding. I will eat a 30 lb lobster if this gets ugly.

Let’s all say “Thank you” to the good men and women who keep our country safe and free in the sweetest way we know how; with a box from JT’s Confections.

As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
JT

We’re Baaaaaaaaaack, New Kitchen, Savage Tan, Hail to The Chief!

We have a lot to cover here ladies so put down the knitting needles and let’s get busy…

We’re back:

We’re Baaaaaaaaaack, New Kitchen, Savage Tan, Hail to The Chief!

After a long absence JT’s Confections is back and ready for business. I’m rejuvenated after having spent a fantastic summer with my family and even learned a few cool things along the way. At the Grand Canyon I learned that even if they have a rider on top of them, mules can’t fly. However, they can reach terminal velocity (120 mph) if they fall from the top of the rim. Gonna need a big pizza box.

New Kitchen with a Retail Counter:

During the summer, JT’s renovated a massive state of the art kitchen that will allow us to increase our production several times over while still maintaining that amazing taste and freshness you so richly deserve.

Before and After

With our increased capacity we will also be introducing English Butter Toffee, Chocolate caramels, and Chocolate Covered Caramels with Sea Salt.

At the front of the kitchen we have a retail counter! It’s one stop shopping for the things you love the most… JT’s Confections and JT. JT too, right?? Please visit us at 1206 Sussex Turnpike in Randolph NJ to say “hi” and get your favorite confections.

Savage Tan:

As a man of Irish descent I know a thing or two about the perfect tan. In my youth, the perfect tan was achieved when all my freckles joined and my head looked like a misshaped medicine ball. As an adult, the perfect tan is achieved when your melanoma spots creep into each other and your head looks like an over inflated speed bag.

This year I decided to try something new….

tan

Pretty sweet!

Hail to The Chief

Gentle Reader, if you are lost in the dark maze of comb overs, servers, lies, Putin, investigations, allegations, Dr Oz, pneumonia, statements of fact made with no supporting truth, and ill fitting asbestos pant suits, I am here to lead you from this darkness. Today I am announcing my write in candidacy for President of These United States of America as the nominee of the WTF party. The WTF Party is an acronym for The “Wobious, Thearidius, Fombliatis” Party which of course is Latin for the “Someone Make it Stop” Party. So on November 8th 2016, when you walk into that voting booth, don’t pull the Republican, Democratic, Green, or Libertarian party lever, wield the power of the pen and write WTF on your ballot!JT as Nixon

As always, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts; it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,

JT

logo

Words of Wisdom for this Mother’s Day…

Mother's Day 2016

Gentle Reader,
As many of you women, but very few of you men know, Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 8th. This year and I want to share a few absolutes I have learned about Moms.The 4 moms - Mother's Day 2016

The first absolute truth: There are four kinds of Moms.

The sweet clueless mom. They are generally pretty cute but stop developing emotionally when they are 12. They are usually married to architects.

The cool mom. Like the sweet clueless mom, they are generally cute, however, they are emotionally mature, and allow kids to drink in their houses.They are usually married to professional athletes.

The hot creepy mom. They are scary and their houses look like an ant colony filled with teenage boys calling on their socially awkward daughters. They are usually married to accountants.

Your mom! Although you believe you are the only person with this kind of mom, 97% of all moms fall into this category.  They are usually married to every dad you know.

The second absolute truth: When it comes to Mother’s day, the mother of your children is your defacto Mom (The four kinds of Moms still apply).

The third absolute truth: Mom’s do not like gifts of power washers, cordless drills, chain saws, Atari game consoles, Rain Ex, bottles of Johnny Walker, or new garbage disposals.(My father actually gave my mother a garbage disposal for Mother’s Day one year. How he was allowed to father six children is beyond my ability to reason…Can anyone say Martini???)

The fourth absolute truth: All Mom’s love a gift from JT’s Confections!!!

confections So gentle reader here is some free advice for you. For this Mother’s Day, give the mother of your children, or your actual mother, a gift basket or a box of gourmet chocolates from JT’s Confections. It’s as easy as logging onto JTSCONFECTIONS.COM and making it happen! Please note the earth has moved 3000 miles closer to the sun over the last 12 months and things have warmed up. Be aware of where you want your order sent and make sure the temperature is appropriate.
Also note: local orders may be picked up.

As always, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts; it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,

JT

Let’s say “Thank you” to the Members of Our Armed Services

Gentle Reader,

For many of many of you, you will recognize this campaign from last year. For our new friends, drop and give me 20 Fancy Pants!

Please note, last year’s efforts exceeded our expectations so this year we have increased our limits and hope you guys welt us up on this one. Here’s the deal…

buy one give oneWe at JT’s Confections, with your help, would like to thank the good men and women who are currently serving, or have previously served, in the armed forces of the United States of America. These men and women are asked to perform duties that many of us are either unable or unwilling to perform. These duties ensure our freedom and safety.

To say THANK YOU we are offering the following:

For every one-pound box of mixed pecan caramel clusters and caramels you purchase, for whomever you want, we will provide a second one-pound box free provided that the second box is shipped to a veteran or an active duty member of the armed services. The only caveat is that you pay the shipping. Who’s better than you??

captain crunchWe are working on the honor system here folks. Having said that, names we will NOT be shipping to are:

  • Colonel Klink
  • Colonel Mustard
  • Captain Kirk
  • Captain Stubing
  • Private Pyle

However, if you can with 100% good conscience provide me with a legitimate Captain Crunch, I will throw in a dozen chocolate covered Oreos® for the good Captain. He or she has endured enough hardship.

Although JT’s Confections is a virtual chocolate powerhouse within a 600 yard radius of our kitchen, we need to limit this to 150 orders (300 boxes) or a March 15th end date, whichever comes first.

To say “Thank you,” just go to JTsConfections.com and click on the American flag. If you’d like to say thank you but don’t know a veteran or active duty member of the military, we can send your box to a veteran or an active duty military person on your behalf.

Each box will contain a note that reads “The Tompkins family of Ithaca, NY, would like to thank you for your service to our country.” Of course if your last name is not Tompkins, and you are not from Ithaca, the note will be changed… dealing with a rough crowd here.

To ensure we hit out goal of 150 orders (300 boxes), PLEASE forward this message to anyone you feel would be appropriate.

As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
JT

How do I love thee, let me count the ways. Give versus get…

As we approach St. Valentine’s Day, perhaps the most sacred and religious of all the fake holidays, it’s the perfect time to reflect on our relationships.

wood chipperGentleman, remember 25 years ago when you first started dating your wife and you’d love to give her things? “Boy I’d love to give my baby a nice night out” or “It sure would be swell to give my sweetheart a nice car”? Life was fantastic.

Today you want to get her things.. “if she say’s one more thing she’s going to get the wood chipper”

Ladies, remember when you first started dating your husband and you’d love to give him things… “It would be super to give my man a nice set a golf clubs” or “I’d love to give my honey a surprise party.” Life was good.

crime tapeToday you want to get him things…”If he tells me one more “hysterical story” about college, he’s going to get a fork in his head.”

Gentle reader, it’s time to move our relationships away from get and back to give.

It’s time to bring back that loving feeling.

I know this might seem like an overwhelming task, but it’s the easiest thing you can do. Go to JTSCONFECTIONS.COM and give your spouse the gift of love.

Please note that JT’s is also great for parents who always made your Valentine’s Day special and for your kids who melt your heart every day.Happy Valentine's Day

Sweet Charity News…

Please check out this link:

http://www.dailyrecord.com/story/news/2016/02/01/matheny-fundraiser-sweet-deal/79633210/

Not to worry, you won’t have to erase your “search history.”

As always, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts; it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,

JT

 

Matheny fundraiser is a sweet deal

JT at Matheny Medical and Educational Center

From left, Junior Friend Sarah Desatnick, John Tompkins, and Georgia Tompkins. Desatnick, also a Ridge student, is the sister of Matheny resident, Bryan Desatnick. (Photo: Matheny Medical and Educational Center)

After a 23-year run, John Tompkins of Basking Ridge retired from his career on Wall Street. In April 2011, he started a new career inspired by his love for the caramels a childhood friend’s mother had made.

His company, based in Randolph, is called JT’s Confections, and he modestly claims that, “My caramels are the best caramels you will ever eat.”

He expanded from caramels into pecan clusters consisting of caramel poured over roasted pecans and hand dipped in rich chocolate.

The confections business, he says, “is so very different from Wall Street. Your competitors want to see you succeed!”

Tompkins has succeeded, and he has also used his new vocation as a way of giving back to the community, providing candy to help nonprofits raise funds. Tompkins’s daughter, Georgia, a student at Ridge High School is an active member of the Junior Friends of Matheny, a group consisting mainly of Ridge and Bernards High School students who volunteer and raise money for the Matheny Medical and Educational Center in Peapack.

For Valentine’s Day, Tompkins is donating 100 boxes of clusters to the Junior Friends, who will sell them at $33 a box.

“And if they sell more,” he says, “I’ll try to fill the order.”

The Junior Friends of Matheny is open to all high school age volunteers. Its mission is to support Matheny through both fundraisers and volunteering and to bring awareness and acceptance of children and adults with disabilities. Matheny is a special hospital and educational facility for children and adults with medically complex developmental disabilities.

Written by Sandy Josephson, of the Matheny Medical and Educational Center and posted on the Daily Record (part of the USA Today network). View the original article here: http://www.dailyrecord.com/story/news/2016/02/01/matheny-fundraiser-sweet-deal/79633210/