Dad, Miss Crabtree, Bloated Nestles Executive

Gentle Reader,

As some of you know, but I’m sure most don’t, Father’s Day is fast approaching. Oh sure you can tell yourself you knew, but you didn’t. Father’s Day is June 15, consider this your warning.

This year rather than buying Dad tools to make your life better or tube socks he can wear while doing yard work, give Dad something that’s going to make him feel loved. A gift from JT’s Confections is just the ticket. A box of confections will say “Today Dad, and today only, you will not be treated like the rented mule you are. Today Dad, and only today, you will have parity with the dog”. Speaking for all Dads, we know this is as good as it gets!


Miss Crabtree:
I know teacher appreciation gifts are always a vexing problem. Do you thank the teacher for shepherding your precious bundle of joy down life’s path while helping them reach their full potential or do you thank them for getting little Babette the *$%! out of your house for ten months.

No need to worry. A gift box from JT’s Confections says thank you for everything they have done. Our confections are so good they even say “thank you Miss Crabtree for not reporting the inappropriate remarks my husband made at Teacher Conference Night”. OMG!

Non sequitur:
Gentle reader don’t forget JT’s Confections is perfect for graduation party favors, wedding favors, bridal showers favors, and hostess gifts. I take comfort in that last sentence knowing that we make the best candy you’ll ever taste and that one day some arrogant, bloated executive at Nestles will be wondering:

1. Who is this JT and how does he make such great confections

2. What happened to my bank account
3. What happened to my 26 year old wife of four months.

Ja Ja Ja est ist sehr gut….


In closing:

Finally I’d like to share with you my favorite Haiku poem. I wrote this poem last year for college graduates as a source of inspiration as they begin a new chapter in their life…

Much Money was Spent
Sheepskin with Official Seal
Want to Super size

For those of you who didn’t take fourth grade poetry, that was a hysterical joke.

As an FYI, JT’s is not shipping until next fall. All orders are for local pick up or delivery.

Be well Gentle Reader, and do the right thing.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,