Mother’s Day, Boston, Global Warming….

Gentle Reader,

I trust this correspondence finds you well. Spring has finally sprung and there are a few things that need to be addressed; Mother’s Day, Boston and global warming.

Mother’s Day:
Remember your Mom this Mother’s Day and say “thanks for all the great memories”. Sure she may have drank a few high balls and smoked a few butts during gestation but don’t hold it against her. I’m pretty sure your memories of her are much better than her memories of you! Do something that will finally make her proud of you. For a day let her think she finally got a child as good as the one my Mom got. Go to and do the right thing.

I’d like to say way to hang tough Boston. Although you have the worst sports teams, even worse fans, and the absolute worst accent, you guys did well. NY sports fans respect the city of Boston and her citizens. Even in these tough times we must never forget the Red Sox stink!!!!

Global Warming:
Global warming is a catastrophe. When coupled with the residual cerebral effects of me usually winning the biggest bong hit contest in college the results are devastating. Unfortunately, I didn’t send this email out in time to offer shipping. Therefore, all orders must be local. When ordering on line, make sure you click the local delivery option. Not to worry. JT’s will be shipping again come the fall.

So get on line at and order early and order often. The kitchen will close for the summer shortly.

Your Pal and guide to a parallel universe,