It is with much satisfaction that I announce that JT’s Confections is fully stocked and ready for the new season. Please visit us at JTSCONFECTIONS.COM and reward yourself for being the best parent you could have been for those three hours last July 23rd!
JT’s Confections would also like to welcome Pope Francis to the United States. While in the USA, Pope Francis will be visiting our nation’s capital, Washington DC; the world’s capital, New York City, and America’s answer to third world countries, Phillyfanistan.
For those of you who are not familiar with Phillyfanistan, it’s a pagan society located in the south eastern region of Pennsylvania. This territory is inhabited by aggressive, loud, boorish, drunk people who worship false gods. These false gods are tall, massive, toothless beasts who are not able to complete a pass, hit a curve ball, score a goal or sink a free throw…when it counts.
Thank you Holy Father for your courage to visit Phillyfanistan. To quote my favorite Latin passage from the old testament… “Esum caseum CARNIS paniculum fartum edit, osculantur solitum campanulae sonum, et exi velociter ex ictos!”
Translation: “Eat a cheese steak sandwich, kiss the bell, and get out of dodge!”
Finally gentle reader, most of us have children, relatives or family friends who are attending an institution for higher learning. Please remember to send these urchins a gift from JT’s Confections. I don’t know how I can make it easier; just click here and become the better parent, aunt/uncle or family friend!
As always, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts; it’s been a pleasure.
Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,
Close your eyes and you wouldn’t know the difference….just sayin’.