Tag Archive for: Happy New Year

Gentle Reader,heartbeat
Lose 15 pounds in a year you ask? Well no need to worry dear friends, that pipe dream was quietly euthanized on January 3, 2016 at 9:30 PM while standing in line at the Dairy Queen.

Although I am still haunted by this decision, I must forge ahead…to the Big and Tall Shop. Looking at the positive, this year’s weight resolution lasted a full 22 hours longer than last years. wife from the fifties(If anyone sees my wife, Sharon, mum’s the word. She still thinks I’m on track to lose 8 pounds by July 4th.)

In all that is JT’s Confections, we are open for business and fully stocked. Go to jtsconfections.com and see all our amazing hand made caramels, pecan caramel clusters, pecan bark, chocolate covered pretzels, caramel filled pretzels that are covered in chocolate, and chocolate covered Oreos. All the food groups are represented.JT's Confections chocolate Oreos

**For our color blind friends, these are Oreos covered in dark chocolate; you are not looking at a checkers tournament. (I apologize to our color blind friends, I wont make any more jokes). Shhhhh….Nobody say a word.

Finally, I want to thank everyone who ordered from JT’s Confections for their corporate and personal gifts during this past holiday season. With your help, we will be able to increase our charitable contributions for 2016 over last year’s level. You did great work! Thank you!!!

Please visit us at JTSCONFECTIONS.COM and order to your heart’s content! We ship anywhere in the US. The answer is I’m not sure, but that’s not the news.

As always, thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts; it’s been a pleasure.

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,


Gentle Reader,
I’m confident you are religiously adhering to your well intended resolutions. However, as I encourage you to set goals and strive for personal betterment, you must also be realistic. I know for a fact that you will not lose 75 pounds by Valentine’s Day; there was only one Karen Carpenter.

jan-img2You will not stop drinking today; even Kitty Dukakis spent a few months banging back nail polish remover (Kitty cocktails) before she saw the light.

Finally, many of you upon serious self reflection, have determined that Hannibal Lecture is not the best role model for your work behavior. Stop your nonsense, you won’t change.


(OK everyone relax, I’m 40 pounds over weight, haven’t had a drink in 14 year, six months, two days and 12 hours, and I was the greatest HR nightmare of all time!)



The Store is Open!

jan-img4On a confectionery note, JT’s Confections is reopened!!

After our short post holiday break, the chocolate is scrapped from the ceiling, unconscious workers have been air lifted to local trauma centers and all the equipment is in good working order. For those of you who were not able to order online last month (we had to close the site early last year as demand increased 6000%* over the previous year), JT’s orders are again being filled.

jan-img5Again, Happy New Year to everyone. Make 2015 the best year of your life. As an FYI, if you are male, over 45, and date a super model at any point during the year it automatically makes it the best year…regardless of how nuts she is!!!

Your Pal and Guide to a Parallel Universe,